Saying No in Your Personal Life

In my last article I talked about saying no in the context of a project. Quite frankly this is much easier to do than saying know in my personal life. In a project I am answerable to higher authorities and must weigh how a "yes" will affect others. In my personal life a yes or no most likely just affects me - or at least affects only me in the immediate time frame.

Gender notwithstanding, the song from "Oklahoma", "I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say No" has always been my theme song! It's just so hard for me to refuse any request. As I analyze this behavior I find there are three reasons this is so difficult for me.

1. It's rude to say no. I was raised to be a polite young gentleman. Everyone from my parents to my grandparents to aunts and uncles took an active part in this piece of my education. One just didn't say no - of if you did you were likely to get smacked. The goal in life was to be polite and accommodating - to everyone.
2. People won't like me if I say no. This is a logical conclusion to number one. I am polite and accommodating so people will like me. If they like me then things will go better for me.
3. My priorities aren't as important as everyone else's. There's a horrible saying I grew up with, "The definition of joy is: Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last. While perhaps teaching the importance of priorities and reducing the likelihood of the deadly sin of pride, it instills a horrible perspective of self worth and self image.

Saying no in this context is very difficult and so the path of least resistance is to just say yes. But what happens to me when I don't say no?

On an emotional level I feel rude. This is counter to how I was raised and goes against deeply ingrained behaviors. It's uncomfortable and I find I feel like I don't really like myself. Internally I cringe each time a say no - or even entertain the thought of saying no - and cower expectantly for that smack upside my head.

Additionally I risk disappointing people and if I disappoint them they won't think highly of me and my reputation will suffer, and they won't like me anymore. Remember that I want people to like me! I have this belief buried deep within me that if they like me they will respect me and things will go better for me. But just because people like me doesn't mean things will go easier for me. Fact is, the more I say yes, the more I will get asked.

When I don't say no I risk putting myself last and I won't get things done that I need to get done. The affects of these build over time; the more I put myself last the more "normal" that feels and the more comfortable I get at it - it gets deeply ingrained in my psyche and habits. As a result of putting things off that are important to me I build the habit of procrastination. This is a pernicious little habit and one that can take a lifetime to break.

I've also discovered that not saying no builds resentment. I've been polite and accommodating to these people - they should like me now, right? And if they like me then they should respect my needs - even if I haven't expressed them. Yet they keep coming to me with requests on my time and priorities - how dare they! They should like me enough to know better! Thus is the thought process rattling around in my head as the resentment builds. Oddly enough this resentment grows most strongly against those closest to me.

Saying no in our personal life mirrors the same constraints found in project management. First and foremost you must have a clear picture of your priorities and goals. Just like a project your life is hemmed in by the triple constraints of time, money, and scope. Only this time these constraints aren't affecting a client or corporation, they are affecting you!

There are three categories of people that we continually say yes to - or rather, refuse to say no to: those who have some control or power over us, those we feel beholden too, and myself.

Each group requires different ways of saying no. For those that have some power over us you have to be very clear what's at stake - just like on a project team. Saying no will have repercussions so you have to take the time to explain the effect of their request and possibly to establish proper boundaries.

To facilitate saying no you have to be clear about what you are doing and how an interruption will affect you. Is it going to be a five minute thing or a 50 minute thing? Can you schedule it for another time? Is it even a task you should be doing? (If not, then perhaps boundaries need to be set.) Will saying yes adversely affect your income? Will saying no adversely affect a relationship - either with the requester or someone else in your life?

Once you begin to answer these questions you can formulate your answer. In responding, here are some things to keep in mind:

• Don't let yourself be pressured into an answer - you have the right to think it through and make an educated reply.
• Be polite. You can be firm if you need, but you should always be polite.
• Don't feel guilty about what you have planned.
• Don't be afraid to set boundaries or limits.
• Look for alternative schedules. Can this be done later?

Saying no doesn't make you a bad -- or mean -- person! It focuses your energies onto what's really important to you in the "now".

Saying No in a Project Environment

"No" is never an easy thing to say whether at work or in our personal lives. Some of us are more adept than others, but regardless of your skill level it still is not an easy thing to say. In these next two articles I will explore the "when" and "how" of saying no in the contexts of Project Management and in our personal time management.

When it comes to managing a project all sorts of stake holders will be making requests of you, the Project Manager. These requests may range from deadline extensions (time line) to modifying the end result (scope creep), and everything in between.

To manage these you have to be very familiar with the concept of the "triple constraint" in projects. Every project you undertake is hemmed in by these three constraints: scope, time and money.

Say for example your project owner decides, for valid business reasons we hope, that instead of 12 months the project must be completed in six. Unless you have just really over padded your project then this really isn't going to be doable given the resources you've allotted and the defined scope. In order to meet this new deadline you're either going to have to reduce the scope of the project or throw significant chunks of money at it to hire more resources.

Or say the project owner comes to you and says, "I know that this project will do A, B and C, but I think it should also do D and E." It's possible that with only minor tweaks this could be done and there would be little or no effect on the other project constraints. The more likely answer, however, is that in order to do this you would have to extend the due date of the project and/or spend more money on resources.

This latter example is called "scope creep" and can come from many sources. Scope creep presents a major risk to a project. This risk can be a positive risk (as in it actually enhances the product and could present little to no effect on the time line and budget) or a negative risk in that it could greatly over extend the time and budget or worse yet, bring the project to a screeching halt. It is your job as the project manager to evaluate these risks.

Armed with the knowledge and full weight of your project's triple constraints you will be able to work with the project owner to come to a good decision. Perhaps you will lead her to a "No" with the realization that the department or company can't afford the impact to the scope, time line or budget. It's also likely that the new outcome outweighs the risks and the decision can be made to move forward with the changes.

When these types of requests come to you from above you don't want to stand there with your feet firmly planted and a "just say no" attitude. You have to educate these key stake holders of the risks and then let go of the outcome - because ultimately they are responsible for the project. Your job is to present all sides of the issue, complete with risks and benefits, and let them make the best decision. You also need to make sure that proper sign off is gained so that should it all go south you have a paper trail that shows who made the decision and when. Otherwise it could all land in your lap!

More often than not the requests come from other stake holders - such as project team members, customers, etc. Depending on who the requester is and what you feel the impact will be you will have a bit more authority to say yes or no. I have found that the majority of these types of requests come from two stakeholder sources: project team members and customers.

The requests from team members are those that usually affect scope or time. Often someone working closely on the project will come up with an idea that could significantly increase the usefulness of the product (scope creep). These are the people who know the product best and their ideas should be taken seriously. If you are too quick to say no then you risk alienating them and possibly losing a great enhancement to the final product. Try to bring them into the evaluation process so they get a fuller understanding of the risks and benefits.

More frequent, however, are the requests from a project team member that affect the time line's due dates directly. These are usually in the form of requests to move out a deadline. My personal approach is to address these requests right at the start of a project. I tell my team that if they find themselves approaching a missed deadline - either because they have hit a road block, they don't know how to do something, or they've become overwhelmed in some other area and have just not gotten to it - they need to tell me well in advance of the due date. If they come to me the day before it's due, or worse yet, the moment it's due - well, let's just say you don't want to have that conversation with me because at that point there's nothing I can do to help you. If you let me know early on then I can get you the assistance you need, divert it to someone who can get it done, or at least alert the project owners that this part will be behind schedule for a bit and devise a plan to make up the time.

The requests that come from the customers usually affect scope, but if they are from a customer that is controlling the budget line then you might have to deal with the budget constraint. The customers are the people who are going to be using the product and before the project is over it will have to pass user acceptance testing. It pays to keep these people happy and in the loop - they can make or break a successful conclusion to the project.

Simple requests like, "Can this be bold face instead of a red highlight?" might seem too simple to even consider and worthy of a quick dismissal. But what if there is a customer that is red/green color blind? All your pretty color schemes are now out the window! It might have paid off to listen to this customer.

Again, the best approach is to hear them out and weigh the cost and benefits with them. If they see the full effect of their request they might reconsider it. If they are insistent then you can bring it up to the project owner for consideration.

Saying no in the context of a project is much less emotional than it is in your own personal life. You have others you can point to and who will back you up. The "trick" is to try and bring the requesters into the decision making process with you as much as is feasible. This lets you say no with out really saying "no".

In my next article on saying no we will take a look at saying no in your personal life and in the context of your time management.

Learn MS Project the Fun Way

Let's face it, MS Project can be daunting. Regardless of how many courses you've taken, until you sit down with it and put it to use you just don't really learn it. Here's a tip: Plan something fun with it!

Back when I was first becoming a project manager and was trying to wrap my brain around MS Project and just how it worked, I struck upon a fun way to learn it. It was coming up on Thanksgiving and I was preparing the meal for our family celebration. I plugged it all into Project and put in everything from shopping to chopping to roasting and toasting! I was able to learn all about lead and lag time and dependancies and the result was a perfectly timed (and delicious) Thanksgiving dinner.

So don't let these products scare you - find something fun, whether it be a dinner or the family vacation, and use these less threatening projects teach you the tools of the trade.

Unemployment and Time Management

How to Regain the Importance of Your Day!

If you've been following me on Facebook you know that in October of 2009 I got caught in a reduction of force (RIF) at my company and was laid off. (After 11-1/2 years of exemplary service, but hey, I'm not bitter.) It's now July 2011 and I'm still searching for a job. But this blog post isn't about the job search process per se; rather, it's about the impact being unemployed has had on my time management. I thought that in today's economy I might not be the only one in this boat and so wanted to share some thoughts and tips with you. I hope you will get something out of this and please share your thoughts with me.

You would think that being unemployed would be boon to my personal time management practice. I mean after all, I now have all this spare time, right? I have all the time in the world to sit down and plan and track everything. Those excuses of too many phone calls and emails, of not having enough time, are gone.

But you would be wrong... wrong on so many levels.

First off, let's look at this thing called "free time". I've discovered that being unemployed is apparently a lot like being retired. As soon as people find out you "aren't busy" you become inundated with requests on your time - some of it very well meaning. And you take them up on it too. You get yourself involved because you want to be busy; you don't want to sit at home alone and wallow - you want to get out there and at least act like you're productive. Before you know it, you find that every spare minute is consumed.

But these things really feel more like busy work. It's not your "job" because you arent' getting paid for it. It doesn't feel important and you don't bother tracking it. Besides, tracking it often just becomes a reminder that you aren't working anymore.

The time that you do track is a single task: LOOK FOR WORK. You could track each and every job you apply for (and I actually do recommend that you track these in some manner) but if you're like me, you're sending out so many resumes in a day that it becomes counter productive to track them all.

The other problem is emotional. Being unemployed for any length of time wears you down; it eats away at your self esteem. I find this especially true as someone who is middle-age with a career that has been in middle to high management - those jobs just are too few and far between right now and the competition is fierce. It really takes its toll. When this happens you get depressed. You start to lose hope and sitting in front of the TV seems so much more inviting - and who wants to track TV time on their task list!?!

So your time management practice slips. It slipped for me, and I bet it has slipped for you. This is no time to beat yourself up for this; it's natural and it happens. Don't worry about it.

I've discovered (with the help of some great friends) a few things that can help.

The daily routine is broken - it's gone, and you won't get that back until you start that new job. It's time to create a new "day at the office routine" that will give you a sense of doing something. When you were at the office the day was filled with phone calls, meetings, coffee breaks, projects, tasks, and even lunches, parties and meeting with the team for drinks after work.

I realized it was important for me to take the very things I was doing throughout the day and give them the same "work" importance. From the important things (like job research and searches, Dr's visits, and charitable work) to the mundane (like doing the laundry, cleaning the kitchen or bathroom, and shopping) to the fun (like dinner with friends, meeting someone for lunch, or working on my web site), I began to log these things as if they were parts of my "business" day.

I decided not to track these in my task list or calendar - I continue to use those at a higher level - but rather, I use a simple spreadsheet. I plug in the things I know are coming up and each day I block out the time as things come up. It's best to plot them in ahead of time rather than retroactively, but the most important thing is to get them posted.

At the end of the day it looks like an actual work day, with meetings, projects, lunches, etc. My day feels productive and I'm less prone to drift off and waste time.

Timing is Everything!

Just the day after writing about evaluating an electronic Time Management system, LifeHack.org published this article. It's a great article and completely ties into my reasons for at least starting out with a paper system.

I hope you enjoy the article!

http://bit.ly/lITzbF

Moving to an Electronic Time Management System

This article is far from all-inclusive, but it's a place to start. I welcome any questions you might have.

Moving to an Electronic Time Management System

The beauty of a planning notebook such as Day Runner, Day Planner, Filofax, etc., is its ability to contain everything in one spot. You don't have to worry about syncing it with anything; never have to worry if something on your work computer made it to your home computer and to you smart phone, or your iPad. Nope, it's all there in black and white—or red, green, blue, and orange—in your notebook that you keep with you always.

But we're in the age of electronics now, and many of us spend almost all of our time with our eyes on the computer monitor and our hands on the keyboard and mouse. And what precious moments aren't on those are spent focusing on our Blackberries, iPhones, iPods, Droids, and other electronic "smart" devices.

Add to that the importance and integration of email into our lives and electronic means to time management leap ahead in the race to finding solutions that work for us. Let's face it, about 80 to 90 percent of our information comes to us via email, be they tasks, appointments, contact information, or other miscellany.

In the old paper method we had only three main tools in out tool box--task list, calendar, and journal. Now, thanks to computers, we have at least two more: email and contact management.

Ironically, the problem with electronic devices and solutions is that they haven't really caught up to the simplicity and versatility of the good 'ole manual paper and pen system! The various systems don't always talk to one another, and if you finally get them to do so, you are stuck with that one system and God forbid you have to switch to another device or application.

My Story

First I want to say that I do not endorse any one time management product, either manual or electronic. I was weaned on the Franklin Planner time management system and I do admit a definite soft spot in my heart for it. It was so long ago that Covey's name wasn't yet attached to the product line and in those days I had my day planner virtually hermetically sealed to my body--where I went, it went. Everything was there and I loved it!

At my last full time job I started out with my wonderful little Franklin Planner book... I even designed and printed my own template pages—major time management geek! During the course of my time there the company went to MS Outlook and its task management, calendar and journal features fit perfectly with my day planner. Why, it even let me print out pages in the correct format to put in my notebook. Later I purchased Franklin Planner's electronic system which wrapped around Outlook quite beautifully. It also seamlessly synched with my Blackberry. So there it all was: my task list, my calendar, my journal, my contacts... all of it was right at my finger tips.

Until I was laid off, that is. Then I lost all the conveniences.

Sure, I still had my Blackberry and the information was there, but I no longer had it on all my computers. I began to look for web-based solutions and I decided on the Google suite of applications to manage most of the things. At least the calendar and contacts synced well with my Blackberry. But Google tasks didn't; there was no journal application linked between the two, and things looked pretty grim for a while.

I'm sure there are other products out there that work great--in fact, might even work better, but my primary consideration was cost. By that I mean I wanted a free solution, and Google provided that. (When you've been laid off, those things are important to you!) My secondary considerations were ease of access and simplicity of use.

By comparison with its other applications, Google Tasks seemed woefully inadequate for what I needed in a task management system--and in reading all the related blogs and forums, Google didn't seem all that interested in fixing it. To make matters worse, the tasks in the email application didn't sync up with the tasks in the calendar application! Major dilemma.

I hear that there are some great apps for the iPhone and iPad, but I guess I'm officially a luddite as I have neither of those, and I wasn’t interested in shelling out the cash to move to those platforms either.

Having decided on the Google apps as my overall management system, which could at least manage my emails, calendar, and contacts, I set out to find solutions to the other two biggies: task management and journaling. I'm going to be honest with you and admit that I haven't found the perfect solution yet--I continue to keep looking--but I have found some solutions that are working for me.

I also needed something that incorporated these three basic tools, as well as the two newer tools, within something I could convince myself was a one-stop-shopping solution. Additionally, It had to be accessible from as many of my devices as possible. I knew this was a tall order and that I'd have to prioritize these needs and I might have to be flexible.

This is how I adjusted to an electronic solution and it may or may not work for you. Later I'll outline things you should look for when determining a solution that works best for you.

My Solutions

All In One Solution

For me, accessibility means I need to not only have access to it from all my electronic devices (desktops, laptops and the ever-present Blackberry), but it has to have some semblance of my old day planner's "all in one" solution. With my day planner I had everything at my fingertips. I could see my to-do list next to my day's appointments, all of which flanked my journal. I haven't found the online system that does that for me while tying into email and contacts and syncing with my other computers and my Blackberry.

Most browsers, however, now let you have multiple windows open at the same time in the form of tabs. I settled on Google's Chrome as my browser (well, if I was doing everything else Google, then it made sense that using their browser would afford the best interoperability) but you could just as well use Foxfire, Safari, or IE. I set it to open the following tabs each time I started up: email, calendar, contacts.

So that just left the business of syncing with the other devices. Since it was all web-based, all my other computers worked fine (I even set Google Chrome to sync my account on all my computers so when I launch it, it's the same on all of them.) And Google does a pretty good job of integrating the email and contacts with those on my Blackberry.

I'll address integrating email as a time management tool later, so that brings us to the calendar.

Calendar

Not much to say on this one. Calendar systems are what calendar systems are... you put in an appointment and it tracks them. The Google calendar syncs across all my devices and sets reminders for me so I couldn't be happier. One advantage of having one that integrates into your contact management system is that you can invite people to appointments that you want to share.

One disadvantage of the Google calendars was there didn't seem to be an easy way to label appointments or color code them like I had in Outlook. For example, all my job-related appointments I wanted to stand out in one color, all my classes in another, choir in yet a different one, etc. My solution was pretty easy... Google lets you set up different calendars and assign a color to each. These all show up on my main view and synch across to my various devises—problem solved.

Task Management

Task management, however, didn't go so easily. As I mentioned, the task management built into Google was... well... pretty awful. I experimented around and tried "Remember The Milk" and "GQueues" and finally settled on "GQueues" as I felt it worked the best for me. (Both were really good... it was just the little things that won me over.) Now a new tab was added to my browser launch.

Both integrated into Google, and both had an internal email address so I could easily email tasks to myself or forward an email or appointment to myself as a task and have it show up in the task system. But neither one had a Blackberry app. That was pretty disappointing as now I didn't have my task list with me. Sure, I could go the website for each, but the browser on the Blackberry is slow and the screen tiny (right, right... I shoulda splurged for the iPad; I know.) But since I'm pretty much in front of my computer all day long that was something I was willing to forego. I keep up with GQueues discussion forums and it appears they are working on this.

The downside of GQueues was that it does cost me $25 per year. I know I said I was looking for something free, but this was important enough to me that I felt I should splurge. Some other bonuses, GQueues let's me nest tasks so I can maintain my daily prioritization scheme, as well as create project plans with subordinate tasks. It has a flexible "queue" system that lets me rethink and redesign things on the fly to help me stay focused.

Journaling

In the day planner days, journaling was where you kept all the extemporaneous data that you collected during the day. Periodically you would review the journal and properly file away all pertinent information--your basic data storage and retrieval system, with the journal acting as a sort of temporary storage facility.

Journaling in the computer environment makes it easy to store the data in the right place sooner so there's less need for the intermediate storage. It's actually easier to just put contact information in your contact management system than it is to store it someplace else temporarily. Same holds true for project information, long-term goals, future appointments, etc.

Each system--email, tasks, calendar, contacts--provides its own internal method of storing their related data for later retrieval using folders, labels and tags. But there still remain those notes and ideas that don't really have a permanent home yet. How best to deal with those?

Since the other elements do provide their own data storage and retrieval, my priority for this option dropped considerable. I was willing to use a separate option on my Blackberry and another one on the computers. On the Blackberry, I use its internal notepad; that seems to work OK—there aren't so many that I lose track of them.

On the computer, though, I've been exploring a couple of options. I haven't settled on any one application yet, but I'm currently looking at Google's Notebook, and a personal blog. Both let me add labels to my entries so I can quickly retrieve information, and both are readily accessible from any computer I might be using.

The blog might just win out because I have several blogs that I write for and so I'm constantly in the Blogger system. Additionally, Google has apparently pulled support from Notebook so I'm not sure how long it will be around. Now if Google and Blackberry would just put their heads together and come up with an blog app for the Blackberry, I'd be happy!

One key thing I've learned in all this is to use consistent labels (or folders or tags... whatever your system has) across all the applications. If I have a folder or label in my email for a work project, then I need to have the same label in my task management, journal, and calendar systems.

Contact Management

Electronic systems are at once more sophisticated and more spread out. The inclusion of computers requires, at least, an integrated contact management system Any email system worth its salt has this built in—it saves its users from having to go searching for an email address every time they want to send something.

Google fortunately integrates this quite seamlessly across all its applications—at least as far as I can tell. Another advantage is that Google seems to "remember" the odd email address that it's come across so you don't have to go searching for it. On the downside, this means you have to periodically go into Google Contacts and look for duplicates and combine them, but fortunately there is a built in tool for this that works quite nicely.

eMail

Email is the only tool I haven't really discussed as a separate item here--it is quite integrated into the other elements and I've mentioned above. But there were some key factors for me that Google solved. It had to: work, sync with my blackberry, allow storage (Google uses labels which I prefer over folders since an email can have multiple labels, but only one folder), and integrate with as many of my other systems as possible.

Gmail did this. I'm sure there are other systems that do it too—this is just where I landed.

Wrapping Up

Well, that's how I became electronic in my time management practices. You don't have to do it the same way I did--I think it's important for you to find what works for you. While there are disadvantages to not having a single, unified system, there is the benefit of being able to craft a system, or series of systems, that works specifically for you.

Part of me wants to go back to my good 'ole Franklin Planner... but gosh darn it, my Blackberry is just so small and convenient--it even clips to my belt so my arms and hands are free. Plus I'm in front of my computer all day long anyway, so having a notebook open in front of me just seems... well... archaic.

So if you're wondering how to move from a paper system to an electronic one, here are some things to consider:

• First, decide on which tools you must have and then prioritize them. There are a variety of tools out there now: task management, calendars, email, journals, contact, CRM's, blogs, notepads, Dropbox, Google Docs, collaborative writing... the list goes on and on. Determine what your "must have" list is and the criteria for each part.
• Look for tools that integrate into your most important electronic devices--those that you use the most, such as desktop and laptop computers, smart phones, and tablets.
• Look for tools that integrate with each other--at least with your highest priority ones. If there aren't direct hooks between them, are there simple ways to make them talk to each other (like forwarding emails to you task manager for quick entry?)
• Rather than looking for a central journal option, create a strong data storage and retrieval methodology that spans across all your applications.
• And finally, don't be afraid to experiment. I continue to explore and tweak things. I don't think the "perfect" system actually exists—partly because my needs change over time. This is the beauty of this type of moduler soluttion; it can grow and adapt as I change.

Procrastination vs. Inspiration

I grew up thinking I was just a procrastinator. When a project was first announced I had a jumble of great ideas, then "pffft"... nothing until just before it was due. During that time all those ideas percolated in my brain and ideas formed, connections were made, thesis/antithesis/synthesis became clearer; and then at the last minute, in a flood of inspiration, it would all tumble out.

And because I didn't spend an hour a day on it, keep copious index cards, and have a proper outline at the ready, I was constantly berated as a procrastinator - a veritable four-letter word when you're in school.

Now, when I look back on it and analyze my behavior and thinking patterns, and I compare them with how I work today, I realize that in truth I wasn't actually procrastinating.

Some people are great at organizing their thoughts well in advance, and managing their thinking processes-their creative processes-on paper. Others, like me, do this in their heads. For me, I have to let the ideas sit and simmer for a while so that the various themes and threads can begin to come together into what I feel will be a good finished product. That's when the "inspiration" hits and I begin to produce.

Now, don't get me wrong... with certain things, like cleaning the bathroom, doing the laundry, or paying the bills, I can procrastinate with the best of them. But I've learned that procrastination is related to things I don't want to do! For things I want to do, it isn't procrastination, it's my thinking and creative process.

In time management it's important to know that all the rules, keys, tips, and tricks we create are really just guidelines to help us keep focused and not lose track of things. It is important to honor the way you innately do things and let your system adapt to your natural processes, not the other way around. (I guess you could say I'm a "form-follows-function" kinda guy.)

Once you identify your natural way of doing things—your native creativity patterns—then you can use your time management skills in ways to enhance them. And for those things that you truly are procrastinating over, your time management practice can provide a way to keep those under control.

Reducing Paper Clutter

I just ran across this great article in LifeHacker.org and had to share it. It deals with paper clutter and the author provides a great method for controlling it, with out being overly OCD about it. Here's the link: http://bit.ly/kxC30n

Adding a quick, daily scan of the paper that came in during the day is a great way to keep the stack of paper manageable until your weekly review time. That daily review should be quick and "unfiltered" as you briefly scan items and place into "keep" and "toss" piles. (I bet your "toss" pile ends up the larger of the two!)

In Session 2 of my Time Management seminars we talk about the weekly review process. This article provides a great addition to that review session.

Some additional organizational thoughts for the weekly review process that I might add to this writer's process are:

• Add action items to the proper to-do list or calendar date; then toss that piece of paper.
• Informational items such as phone numbers, addresses and such, add to the proper storage media right then and there; then toss that piece of paper.
• Paper that you need to keep handy, such as bills and forms, can be stacked in an inbox to be addressed that week. Add an action item to your to-do list on the day you intend to do it. If there's anything you didn't address by the next review session, you can reschedule into the next week. Another option, if you have space and are so inclined, is to have file folders for each week day and place the items in their appropriate day. But if you don't truly have room for this, don't do it - it will just add clutter.

Three Easy Steps to Success

Here are my three easy rules for success:

1. If you want to succeed, show up.
2. If you want to succeed and be noticed, show up on time.
3. If you want to succeed and blow the competition out of the water, show up on time and take notes.

It's that easy.

Creating a Sacred Workspace

Create Sacred Space? Really? Where I'm working, where I spread out my papers, answer the phone and set up my computer is really a sacred space?

Well, yes. At least it should be; especially in terms of "sacred" meaning something that is set apart.

If you're someone that works in an office building with other co-workers--your basic, typical office environment, this is pretty much established for you, though it may seem anything but sacred. But if you're like me and work from home then your office space is not so clearly deliniated; and if your home office is in a small apartment--like mine-- then the office also serves as dining room, living room, gaming center, media center, etc. What happens to me is that I get horribly distracted. This has four basic results:

1. I start focusing on other, less important things, or
2. I start multi-multi-tasking and my energy is so dispersed that I get nothing done, or
3. I pulled into something mind-numbing and unproductive like surfing the web or playing a game and the next thing I know the day has gone, or
4. I get so frustrated that I just walk away watch TV or something.

Clearly, those are not productive!

So what can you do about it? Well, if you're lucky enough to have some mobility in your office equipment (laptop, cell phone, iPad, etc) then go someplace else! Change the scenary for a while. Maybe find another room. If the weather is nice, go sit on your front porch or go to the park (and if those places happen to have wifi, all the better!) Head to the library and work there for a bit.

If you're not that mobile, (for example, while I have mobile equipment, the majority of my resources on on the desktop computer at home and that limits my ability to work away from the desk) then you have to find some ways to "sanctify" the space you have in order to refocus.

Since I'm physically limited in where I can go, I have found a few simple and oddly ritualistic things that help. Now, don't be afraid of ritual! We are, actually, ritual beings. Rituals are a symbolic language that speaks to us on very deep, subconscious levels and can communicate things to our psyche that all the trainings and readings and seminars just won't ever reach.

First, unclutter what's right in front of you. For me, that is NOT easy... just ask Jordan. I am a clutter person; I believe God made flat surfaces to stack stuff on. I have no delusions that I will change this behavior (sorry, Jordan) but to help me focus I can grab the loose papers and various wires, books and light bulbs that are sitting within a 45 degree viewing area in front of me and I can move them someplace else. Outta sight, outta mind!

Second, the stuff that you can't move, or might need handy, neaten up. Restack them; line them up. Put all the pens in the holder and put it in a neat place; line things up in right angles (you don't have to be OCD, but it helps!) and move them outward towards the edges of that 45 degree area in front of you, trying your best to keep the area right in front of you clear, with the exception of your keyboard or perhaps a pad of paper that you're using.

Third, find something that will engage your senses to "sanctify" the space. When I sit down, I now light a little stick of incense that I have off to the side. This signals my brain, through my sense of smell, that what is happening now is special and deserves my attention. Don't have, or don't like, incense? No problem. Use an icon, statue, crystal, rock, or piece of potter--anything that visually establishes that the space is now set apart and special.

Using cues from your senses--touch, smell, sight, even taste (coffee does it for me!)--you can communicate to yourself that the space you are using is now set aside for something special, and that special thing is work. When you're done, get up, move the "sacred object" and put it away and let the space return to it's other uses.

Depression, Anxiety and Time Management

For everyone, depression and anxiety are part of the natural ebb and flow of our emotional make up. Everyone feels depressed at some point in their life. It is a natural part of the grieving process; a response to some significant loss.

We also experience anxiety at the prospect of some impending "doom" (whether it be a test we're not prepared for or that meeting with the boss that was called unexpectedly.) Anxiety is our "early warning system" that primes our defenses and readies our fight-or-flight reflexes.

For the majority of people these emotional responses are usually relatively short lived and have a minimal impact on our ability to function. But for many these emotions can darken the world into an ever spiraling vortex that is debilitating and paralyzing. Some take medications to level the playing field and minimize the damage; others hunker down and wait it out; still others seek out various coping mechanisms - some good, some not so good - to help weather the storm.

Regardless of where you fit in this spectrum, it is important to know that depression and anxiety will have an ill effect on our daily routines in time management. Our emotions play a vital part in both our desire and ability to be focused, proactive, and consistent. When we are depressed or anxious our tendency is to avoid the things that we feel are fueling those emotions, whether or not they actually are. All those things on our to-do list look like big red buttons hot-wired directly into our depression and anxiety and the last thing we want to do is face them and deal with them. They don't just loom large on our horizon, they are gigantic! They are the monsters hiding in our closets; they are the stuff of our nightmares - literally.

The result? We avoid doing our time management. It's amazing all the things that can creep up to crowd out even the possibility of sitting down to do it. I, myself, am partial to the "crawl back in bed and pull the covers over my head" response. And what do we do when we avoid doing the work? We beat ourselves up and tell ourselves how really bad we are. And that leads into more spiraling downwards, more anxiety, more depression... and more avoidance... and... and... and...

I know from experience that the reality of those to-do items is never as dire as we feel. On more than one occasion, I've bitten the bullet and faced my fears head on and discovered that it really wasn't so bad after all. It didn't dissipate the depression or solve the anxiety, but I was able to at least stop beating myself up for a little while. But for those who suffer from extremer bouts of depression and anxiety, it is often the rare occasion that they can muster up the ability to forge ahead and get down to work.

I will tell you right now that we are all victims to our emotions. Even those who only suffer mild, or "normal," depression and anxiety are victims of these emotional quagmires -- they just may not be as long lasting or as debilitating. But even if you suffer from chronic depression or have an anxiety disorder, either taking or not taking medication, your reactions to them are perfectly normal.

These emotional mine fields derail us, regardless of the severity of them. They throw us off the track of our daily planning and review, as well as our ability to monitor our activities throughout the day. While our instinct, as well as our fears, keep us focused on our being derailed, that is really not the right place to focus—especially during the time of derailment.

Instead the better focus is on what we need to do to get us back on track. The first thing may be to do absolutely nothing. During the throws of the depression or anxiety it may be impossible to do anything we might consider “productive”. Usually that just makes us feel worse, so let me give you permission to just do absolutely nothing. You have enough to worry about, so why add this to your plate? As the saying goes, “this too shall pass.” So you can wait this out and pick back up when the storm is over.

The next thing to do is to be gentle with yourself. Don’t beat yourself up or put yourself down. Be forgiving. Also, don’t try to analyze the situation right now. Once you’re back on track and some time has gone by, then it will be time to review and see what happened and what got you back on track.

And finally, realize that the things you are worrying about probably aren’t as big as you think. All those action items on your to-do list will take far less time than your fears are telling you; the severity level of them is probably much lower than you think; they will still be there—without much damage done—when things settle down.

Once the depression or anxiety has subsided, gently return to your practice. At first it will feel overwhelming, so take it smaller bites. Start fresh – don’t grab your now stale to-do list and try to pick up where you left off. Grab a fresh sheet of paper, a new page in your planner, whatever you’re using and start anew. Then, focus on the prioritization aspect. Don’t worry about the doing of the tasks, just the prioritizing of them. This is when limiting your “A’s” to just 3 is really important. You will want to make up for lost time – that’s natural. Fight this urge and force yourself to limit you “A” priorities to only 3. Focus on these for now and leave the rest.

Next, look for those things that can be scheduled forward, or better yet, completely cancelled. Getting them off your plate now will free you up considerably.

After a few weeks, when things have returned to something you consider normal, and you sit down to do your weekly review, look back over the events and analyze it. But don’t look for what went wrong. Instead, look at the things that got you back on track. Focus on the positive actions you took. These are the tools you will want to file away in your “tool box” for later retrieval.

The most important thing to remember is to not beat yourself up—realize that you are human and that what you’re going through is 100% natural. You’re not alone and you’re not the first person to have this problem. Focus on self care and then work on gently (and this is really the key word) returning to the practice.

An Alternative to Calendar Bankruptcy

I couldn't have said it better myself! Thanks to Erin for this insight.

Four steps to uncluttering your schedule

1. Lose your calendar.
2. Recall very little from your lost calendar.
3. Have people in your life who are laid back and won’t send you reminders about your upcoming engagements with them.
4. Don’t call anyone to see if you have upcoming engagements planned.

Obviously, these four suggestions are a joke. You should always keep a copy of your calendar — a daily backup for a digital calendar and a regular scan/copy of a print calendar — so a situation like this would be avoided.

However, I think we can all recall a time in our lives when we wished we could lose our calendars. We feel so overwhelmed by our obligations that we long for a way to be set free of obligations without any guilt.

Instead of chucking your calendar out the window, the next time you feel overwhelmed by your schedule try these steps to alleviate some stress:

1. Say “no” to as many future offers as possible until you feel things are becoming manageable again. You’ll need to say “yes” to things that keep you out of jail and from being fired, but most everything else can temporarily be put on hold. You’re also free to change your mind, just remember there is much less stress involved with changing your “no” to a “yes” than having to back out of something you’ve already committed to.
2. Review your schedule and see if there is anything you can gracefully back out of without much guilt or repercussions. Then, cancel the obligation. At this point, it’s probably best not to reschedule.
3. Review your schedule and see if there are any appointments that can be moved to a better time. An early morning appointment might be more manageable as a lunch meeting.
4. Identify the obligation on your schedule that is causing you the most dread, and make a plan to eliminate or reduce the stress surrounding it in the future. Knowing that something you dislike will be minimized in the near future often makes it easier to address in the present.

None of these steps will completely eliminate stress, but hopefully they will help to reduce it to a manageable level. Once you feel that things are back under control, you can start to say “yes” to non-essential obligations again, if that is what you wish to do.

Like this site? Buy Erin Rooney Doland's Unclutter Your Life in One Week from Amazon.com today.

http://bit.ly/h5beSQ

Focus on Success, not Failure

In his book, "Now, Discover Your Strengths", Donald Clifton talks about the importance of spending your time and energies developing your strengths rather than trying to overcome your weaknesses. Focusing on your strengths defines success, focusing on your weaknesses defines failure. Doesn't it make more sense to focus on success?

Is "Task" a Four-Letter Word?

For many of us, the word "task" is a four-letter word... a dirty word that makes us cringe deep inside and makes us want to run screaming back to bed, pull the covers up over our head, and try to forget it all.

Well, if that's you, then I won't try to redeem the word for you - it's not really important to do. What IS important is that you focus on what ... um... "tasks" mean and get them done.

A quick look at the thesaurus gives us a plethora of replacement words that you can easily substitute for that dirty, four-letter word. You just might find one these words to be a suitable replacement, and if so, I encourage you to replace away! The goal here is to achieve what we can do with the tool, not what we name it.

So, here are some options:

Action, Allocation, Assignment, Charge, Choice, Commission, Could Do, Designation, Duty, Effort, Engagement, Enterprise, Errand, Exercise, Function, Function, Get Done, Goal, Like To Do, Responsibility, Selection, To Do, Undertaking, Want To Do

So find the word or phrase that works for you. Don't be afraid to try on different words until you find what motivates you!

Upcoming Seminar

Part 2 of the "IT'S ABOUT TIME" seminar is this coming Saturday, 19 March 2011, from 1:00 to 4:00 pm. Location is 224 Waverly Place, New York, NY (the Parish Hall of St. John's in the Village).

Space is limited, so contact me at apjones.nyc@gmail.com to reserve your spot.

In this seminar, you will:

• Understand the Core Principles and Core Values of Time Management
• Discover what is, and is not, working for you
• Explore the roles you play and the people and commitments you have
• Recognize and avoid burnout
• Learn effective "lessons learned" techniques.

Out of the Dust

This is the beginning of Lent. It is one of those times of year, like New Years and, for some, Advent - perhaps the odd birthday or two as well - when we try our best to set a goal and stick to it.

In Lent we traditionally give something up - something that is both dear to us and something we feel we can live without, such as chocolate, or coffee, or meat. A more recent development in the Lenten tradition is to take on something new as a spiritual exercise such as setting aside a specific time to read or meditate, or to do some specific charitable act.

Whatever your spiritual background, be it Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Jainism... whatever it may be, I'm sure you've found yourself at this very common cross-road of setting some task for yourself such as letting go of something or taking on something. You said to yourself, "This is good. I can do this."

But what happens a week or so into the practice? Well, if you're like me, you find that you skipped one... then two... then... well, the practice sorta fell by the wayside and that chocolate bar just magically was in your hand and all was gone, save the wrapper!

The same holds true of our time management practices. We start our really well those first few days, doing our morning planning, our evening review, keeping up with our continuous monitoring. Then that morning the alarm went off late, or our best friend came into town and we left work a little early and hung out with them until the wee hours - no planning or review that day. Then it was a quick slide down that slippery slope.

How do I know this, you ask? Easy! It happens to me! Yep. I'm just like you. It happens; we start out, we slip. So what do we do?

I went to a quiet day retreat this weekend and the Rev'd Barbara Crafton was the speaker and this very topic was part of her focus. I relearned some very interesting points I'd like to share with you.

1) Little by little our disciplines trickle into dust. We tend to really beat ourselves up over this, but it is very much the nature of things. There are certainly things that can help us stay on track, but chances are you start out gang-busters, and then little by little that discipline just fades away.

I want to tell you something about this... IT'S OK! It happens. So what do you do? Easy. You pick it up and start it again... no harm, no foul.

2) Failing at something doesn't mean you are a failure. Just because you failed at doing your planning doesn't mean you are a failure - or that you are a failure at time management itself. Failing at something isn't a bad thing; quite the contrary, it's an opportunity to learn.

Sit back and think about why you may have failed. Maybe you're trying to force it at a time that's not right for you (if you're not a "morning person" then setting that alarm clock a half hour earlier just probably was recipe for disaster anyway.)

This practice - the practice of good time management - is a gift, not a job. Let yourself enjoy it; do it at a time that is good for you. If you do that, then you will begin to see more and more how your life is continuing to grow toward betterment.

TGI Weekend?

"Everybody's ready for the weekend!" Come on, everybody, sing with me!

YAY! You made it to the weekend! Whew! Great Job!

But wait a minute... what's this? It's noon and you haven't done you morning planning? "Eh", you think. "I'll skip it just for today. No one will notice."

Wrong! The most important person will notice... YOU!

Yes, it's the weekend, and if you're like most people, your schedule changes dramatically for these two days. Your priorities and duties shift considerably today and tomorrow and so your routine is going to be quite different as well.

And that's OK. Let's take a look at how we can adapt. First off, it's OK that things are different - just don't let that difference derail you. Instead, let you planning routine shift - or modify - to adapt to this newness. If you're use to doing your planning first thing when you get to the office and now you're not IN the office, well, shift it to sitting at your dining room table with a cup of coffee before everyone wakes up. And tonight, instead of doing it at your desk at 5:50 just before you walk out the door to catch the subway, curl up in your cumfy chair with a cup of hot chocolate at 4:30 and do your review then.

It's perfectly alright to let your practice shift along with your weekend schedule. Hey, you're gonna have to do this when you're on vacation too, and that's a REAL shift, so you might as well start practicing for that now, right?

The key is to do it. In the directions: "do it every day" and "do it at the set time every day", the most important one is "DO IT EVERY DAY". By letting this practice shift a bit on the weekend it moves from being a chore back to something that is enjoyable and empowering. Think of it as rolling with the tide.

Now... if it happens to be noon and you're just now reading this? OK... grab your planning materials, walk to Starbucks, grab that coffee, sit down at a table and do it now. It truly IS better late than never.

And if you're just now reading this on Monday morning and you're feeling REALLY guilty that you didn't do your planning and review at all this weekend and your thinking, "Oh well, it was fun while it lasted." Today is a new day! Start NOW. As we all know, it's one day at a time!

Happy Planning and Happy Weekend!

Doomed to Repeat?

It was the philosopher, essayist, poet and novelist, George Santayana, who said, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." And this is nowhere more evident than in our planning and time management. Proper time stewardship requires us to establish moments of review and reflection in order to keep track of our goals and move forward.

There's a great article in Lifehacker that focuses on this aspect and is well worth your read. Check it out at: http://lifehac.kr/g2FHK6

Keep Up The Good Work

It has been my experience that day three is about the time we start to slip a little... we wake up a little late, there was no hot water in the building, the gym was crowded and took extra time, the boss had put a note on our desk that we had to respond to 1st thing... Lot's of little things have a habit of conspiring against us to convince us that, well, just for today we can skip that morning planning, or that tonight we can do that meeting or class and not do the evening review.

I'm here to tell ya folks, that's a slippery slope (and yes, that's the voice of experience talking!)

Make the time to do it. Remember, you're building a habit and consistency is key. Renew your efforts; carve out the time (even if it's to sneak of to the bathroom for 10 minutes to do you planning or review there!) These early weeks are vital.

Keep up the good work, my friends! And let me know if you have any questions or need help.

Off To A Great Start

My thanks to all the participants who attended my free Time Management seminar this past Saturday. The class was great and your participation was fantastic. As I read through your surveys and reflected on the conversations I've had with you since then I know you all got a great deal out of it and have eagerly started putting into practice what you learned.

Your feedback has been immensely helpful in fine tuning this product and making it better. Your insights and ideas on how to focus it for various audiences has me really psyched and eager to get the marketing machine rolling.

As for myself, I learned that the seminar is right on target! This is definitely a very timely topic (pun intended!). I've taken your comments to heart and will be presenting a part two seminar on March 19 - "Time After Time" where we will have a chance to explore even deeper.

How Many Tools in your Toolbox?

If you're like me you have about a gazzillion tools in your toolbox - everything from hammers, to electrical tape, to some strange little tool that measures the diameter of things. But how many do I use on a regular basis? What are the core tools that I just cannot do without?

Well, I'm not an electrician, so the electical tape is out. I'm not a whoever-it-is that needs to know the diameter of things, so that's out. Even the allen wrenches and those coveted channel-lock pliers aren't used that often. No, the basics tools for me are a hammar, a pair of pliers, a flat-head and philips-head screwdriver.

These are the things that go in the top section of my tool box - that part that's the first place you go to for tools, the most accessible, and it usually even has a nice little handle so you can lift it out and take it to where the work is.

Now that's not to say that the other tools aren't useful. I dare say that I bought them special in order to do specific jobs and without them my life would have been very ... well... annoying, to say the least. But they don't sit in the top section - I don't use them all the time.

I learned a long time ago to keep them out of the top section for the simple reason that if they're there, they crowd out those tools that I need most of the time and makes it impossible to find them. I scrape my knuckles looking for them, get frustrated, starting dumping things on the floor and generally waste a lot of time.

The same is true for Time Management tools.

There are a myriad of tools, tips, and tricks out there. And they're all wonderful. They are especially rampant in electronic systems, but even paper systems can begin to overwhelm you with different pages and sections, and if you're not careful, they will crowd out your basic Time Management tools and you will soon get frustrated and stop doing your Time Management all together.

Pare down! I continually focus on the three main tools that will ensure that my day is organized and my time is managed efficiently:

• A Task List
• A Calendar
• A Journal

When I get overwhelmed and Time Management has escaped me, it's usually because I've cluttered up my tool box. When this happens to you, take control - clean out your tool box and get back to the basics. You'll find you're back on track in no time.

The Biggest Enemy

I have found that the biggest enemy to Time Management is that sense you have at the end of the day that you got absolutely nothing accomplished; that your day has just been a waste of time.

You can combat that with one easy exercise: pick a time each day at the end of the day (if you're an office oriented person, that might be around 5:30; if you work at home or freelance, it might be later in the day - closer to supper) to review your day. Make sure it's the same time each day.

Take just 15 minutes to review your task list, calendar and journal for the day. Look over your task list, add those myriad of things that you did do that didn't start out on your list. Check off the things you accomplished, delete the ones that are no longer relevent, and schedule forward the ones that must be relegated to another day.

Now take a fresh look at all that you did accomplish today! Smile! You did a great job! You've gained back control of the day and you can look back with pride in a job well done. Now go get a good night's sleep... you deserve it!

Time Management Seminar - 2/26/11

I'm finally moving into the Seminar arena in my Time Management training presentations and am having a trial run this coming Saturday in Greenwich Village, New York City, NY from 1 to about 5.

Since this is for "guinea pigs" only :-) and free, it's by invitation. I do have room for a few more participants so if you'd be interested in attending, just let me know. You can tweet me at twitter.com/ap_jones.